I accidentally burped into my bong.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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