Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
