Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize