it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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