Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
