so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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