dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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