Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize