what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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