Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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