Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize