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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
