He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A+ Viking dick
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