It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.