I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage