There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.