why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
