yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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