I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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