You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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