Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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