She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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