i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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