it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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