Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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