omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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