We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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