So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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