and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
