My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
