Cold hands, warm shart.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
