someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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