They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
