This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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