I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
