We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
