i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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