so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
