Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize