Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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