Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
