Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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