His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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