i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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