Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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