no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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