How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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