What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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