Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
