your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
