Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
