I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
