I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
