what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
