Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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(734): You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia. http://tfl.nu/z7s6

Replies (15) Good night (1260) Bad night (1431)
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(775): View more from Nevada

somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.

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(775): somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car. http://tfl.nu/3f74

Replies (16) Good night (3457) Bad night (691)
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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"

(305): View more from Florida

does that mean he doesn't last long?

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(813): he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon" (305): does that mean he doesn't last long? http://tfl.nu/k8bo

Replies (10) Good night (814) Bad night (3665)
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(904): View more from Florida

watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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(904): watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too.. http://tfl.nu/rujn

Replies (9) Good night (3376) Bad night (632)
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(317): View more from Indiana

i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..

(1-317): View more from Indiana

yeah thats usually a good indication.

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(317): i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face.. (1-317): yeah thats usually a good indication. http://tfl.nu/79nx

Replies (6) Good night (5256) Bad night (1092)
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(317): View more from Indiana

After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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(317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1

Replies (38) Good night (935) Bad night (8847)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

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(775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4

Replies (20) Good night (1081) Bad night (7529)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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(978): his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave. http://tfl.nu/6huv

Replies (13) Good night (5449) Bad night (1184)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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(717): If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate. http://tfl.nu/gd7q

Replies (13) Good night (2472) Bad night (643)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.

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(724): So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress. http://tfl.nu/pksn

Replies (7) Good night (4028) Bad night (602)
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(845): View more from New York

finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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(845): finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted! http://tfl.nu/7ysb

Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (446)
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(248): View more from Michigan

So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

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(248): So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits." http://tfl.nu/x9en

Replies (6) Good night (2469) Bad night (650)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.

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(215): You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized. http://tfl.nu/g02p

Replies (3) Good night (948) Bad night (398)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

DC is easy, you will figure it out.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.

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(617): DC is easy, you will figure it out. (508): I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this. http://tfl.nu/ltz6

Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (306)
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(330): View more from Ohio

We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

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(330): We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. http://tfl.nu/07yn

Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (270)

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