I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens