Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.