Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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