omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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